I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe…

I believe I promised I’d tell you what happened on the Isle of Dogs, didn’t I? Well, it all started on Monday, when I received a call from the Friend-For-Whom-I-Have-Not-Yet-Thought-Up-A-Humorous-Pseudonym (who previously appeared in this blog in the entry  http://londonparticulars.wordpress.com/2010/03/28/strictly-come-stumbling/)  inviting me to an event whose nature was not fully explained. I was told that the dress code was Cyberpunk, Indian, Arabian, Chinese or Forties Futuristic. I would also need goggles. I decided that with just over 24 hours’ notice, Forties Futuristic would be my best bet.

I borrowed a pair of goggles from The Bro and obtained a pair of gas masks from Surplus Plus in Fitzrovia, and  after some brief experimentation, came up with the ensemble seen left. I discovered that the event was actually something called Secret Cinema – we would be taken to see a film, but not told which one. The dress code was the only real clue we’d get.

She-Without-Pseudonym (she suggested Krang, so we’ll go with that for now) went with a rather impressive 40s/cyberpunk look, featuring a lot of fluorescent orange and a quite astonishing hairdo. Apparently people were unwilling to sit next to her on the train. To be honest, I find that weirding people out is half the fun of a costumed event. We met our fellow freaks at Canary Wharf and were directed to queue up for our shuttle (or bus) to the “off-world colonies.” We speculated as to the possible films it could be – favourite suggestions based on the costumes were Blade Runner, Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow and The Fifth Element.

Once on board the shuttle, we were instructed to close the curtains (or “shields” as they were termed) so as not to reveal where we were going. However, en route, we were informed that we were to be dropped off in a “holding area.” So we got off the bus, finding ourselves in a rather industrial-looking area.

Unfortunately, I’m completely lame when it comes to surprises. You see those cranes on the top right of that picture? They’re just opposite South Quay. I’d also worked out that the film was going to be Blade Runner, due to an earlier mention of “Voigt-Kampf tests.” Fans of the film will recall that this was the empathy test used by Harrison Ford to determine whether a person was human or not. This was completely awesome, as Blade Runner is my second-favourite film of all time (the first is Withnail and I, if you were wondering).

Krang had not previously seen this film, so I suspect a few elements of what came after may have been lost on her. For you see, upon stepping into the “holding area,” we found ourselves in a very impressive recreation of 2019 Los Angeles, as seen in the film.

Several of the locations had been recreated, including the eye laboratory, the Chinese takeout, the strip club and the artificial fish stand. In addition, there were actors representing various characters from the film, and other performers helping to recreate the world. I briefly found myself with a snake upon my shoulders for complicated reasons. Those things are heavy, you know? They don’t look it, but they really are.

Actually, on the left you can see me with the snake. If I look a little uncomfortable, that’s probably because HOLY CRAP THERE IS A SNAKE ON ME. The woman handling the snake described this as my “Britney moment,” so obviously she hasn’t heard about the time I shaved my head and married a guy for two days.

There were various real stalls including, inevitably, Cyberdog and a  vintage clothing place. Krang regretted not purchasing an umbrella with an illuminated handle, as seen in the film.

After watching the band (with their very impressive light show) and enjoying falafel and wine, a rare combination, it was time for the movie proper to begin.

Now, as I said, I love Blade Runner. It is, as far as I’m concerned, one of the best science fiction films ever made. Visually spectacular, beautifully written and directed with some excellent performances.  Most importantly, it’s a film that makes you think between wowing you with visuals.

Seeing it on the big screen, I must admit, was a new one for me. So I was rather impressed. The version screened was the Final Cut (there have been about four or five different versions of the film – and you thought George Lucas was bad at making his mind up). This doesn’t differ hugely from the Director’s Cut, although there were a few interesting additions. I might have to dedicate an entry to this film, in fact.

One very impressive touch (SPOILER ALERT) was the live recreation of the film’s climactic battle between Deckard and Roy, achieved using a combination of projected scenery and actors. Unfortunately, the shot I got was not fantastic.

After this nerdgasm, it was time to leave. The choice of locale for the screening becomes more obvious by night, when the Docklands skyscrapers are lit up – indeed, it would be hard to think of a more appropriate location in London, given the industrial grime down below and the neon spectacle above.

It was but a short walk back to Canary Wharf station and the Tube home, during which I bored Krang with my discussion of the film’s themes and unanswered questions.

All in all, a superb event and definitely one worth returning to. Indeed, Krang did so herself later in the week.

In the meantime, what am I going to do with this gas mask?

Further Reading

http://www.secretcinema.org/ - The Secret Cinema website.

Give me some names

It’s been a pretty eventful weekend for Yr. Humble Chronicler. Long story short, on Saturday I done some politics, on Sunday I done some research. It’s now nearly bedtime, so I’m afraid today’s entry may be rather short. Don’t worry, there is much to speak of in the near future.

So, for now, just to make sure you don’t go away disappointed (I’m sure you were just aching for an entry on an amateurish blog to make your weekend complete), I’m going to answer a question that was put to me a little over a week ago. Namely, what’s with the names of the stations on the Docklands Light Railway?

The persons asking me this question were curious as to why the stations on the DLR have such bizarre names. Mudchute, Limehouse, Island Gardens, Cutty Sark, East India, Blackwall, Pudding Mill Lane, All Saints. Some of them are fairly obvious (Cutty Sark being named after the clipper Cutty Sark which is berthed there, London City Airport being named after London City Airport). Some not so much. One of the people asking the question was not from around here (being Icelandic) and so was at a particular disadvantage.

The reality is that, actually, most of the names are not that bizarre. They make perfect sense if you know the history of the area. Unlike many place names in London (Holborn, Islington, Euston) these “weird” ones are usually in plain, modern-day English, not commemorating some obscure aristo or long-vanished place.

The key to understanding many of these names is the fact that these are the Docklands – that is to say, the 19th century Port of London. The more exotic-sounding places are often so-called because, when the Docklands were still worthy of the name, they were served by vessels from that area. This accounts of East India, West India Quay, Cyprus and Canary Wharf (the Canary Islands, you see).

Others are named after features of the docks – this accounts for Pontoon Dock (named after a bridge rather than a pontoon, “pontoon” being derived from the French pont) and Custom House. Mudchute was simply a heap of mud, a dumping ground for the muck dredged out of the docks. Westferry was a ferry in the west (relatively speaking). Heron Quays were quays where herons might be seen. If you can’t work South Quay out then you have no business here.

The more regal names come from the fact that docks were often named after royalty. This accounts for King George V, Prince Regent, Royal Albert and Royal Victoria.

Bow Church and All Saints are both churches. Shadwell has a similarly holy name, being a contraction of “Saint Chad’s Well.”

Some are named in commemoration of local industrialists. Beck, Canning and Silver gave their names to Beckton, Canning Town and Silvertown respectively.

Some are derived from industrial practices no longer carried out there. Limehouse, that well-known den of vice and subversion, was once home to a number of lime kilns. One of the strangest names on the DLR is Pudding Mill Lane. However, it becomes saner once you realise that “pudding” was a term for offal (which survives, incidentally, in the term “black pudding”). A pudding mill was simply a place where said offal was processed. Woolwich Arsenal, of course, comes from the armaments factories that don’t exist any more – at least part of them is now a rather pricey-looking residential development. Woolwich’s arsenal, of course, had a football team that went pro and is now simply known as Arsenal.

Crossharbour is a modern name for a local development, as is London City Airport.

Poplar’s origins are not known for sure, but it’s suggested that there might once have been a poplar tree here that functioned as a local landmark.

Island Gardens is a Victorian pleasure garden on the Isle of Dogs. Hence, it does exactly what it says on the tin, as the kids say.

Cutty Sark, naturally, is named after the ship. The ship itself is named after a character in Burns’ poem Tam o’ Shanter, who in turn is named after her distinctive clothing. Cutty Sark, simply translated, means “short underwear.” There’s a puerile part of me that finds it amusing that there is a station commemorating a poor choice of undies.