Lovely spam, wonderful spam

Aren’t spambots wonderful? Barely a day goes by when I don’t catch another in this blog’s spam filter. Sometimes they’re so entertaining that I’m tempted to let them through, but then I remember that my blog would get crapped up with Cialis adverts from now until the day civilisation collapses and, with a heavy heart, I hit “delete.”

There’s a certain art to the spambot post. Some of them just don’t try – they’ll straight-up try to post a comment offering cheap pharmaceuticals or dubious dating services. Come on, guys, it’s not the 1990s any more. The Internet is a cynical place these days.

Others have realised that all they need to do is get a comment, any comment, on to this blog – the link to whatever they’re selling (or whatever they’re claiming to sell in order to get your credit card details) is in their name to the left of the post. So they’ll leave something saying, “Hey, great blog!” or “I enjoy this site!” in the hope you’ll believe there is someone who rejoices in the name of Discount Xanax. They don’t make it too specific, of course, for the obvious reason that the same message is used to spam thousands of blogs every day.

And then some of them get a bit cocky. Hence one that tried to post “Can you take this with water?” on a post about Tottenham Court Road. If I’d actually been talking about medicine, that might have been convincing. Nice try, advertising automaton.

Today I got what might be my favourite example of a spambot trying too hard.

The blog is really nice one and very informative for us. we appreciate the kind of information you have provided in this post. The information are so useful for all of us and we would like to thank you from the bottom of our heart for this wonderful information.The things you have discussed about in this post which are supposed to be very helpful for us. Because of these wonderful information in this post the blog can be viewed again and again.

So many words to say so very little! Such a triumph of ambition over linguistic ability! Such broken English! A veritable cornucopia of BS!

See also – Do not give your heart to a spambot.

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