I have to apologise for this entry, I’m afraid it’s not going to be particularly enlightening and most likely won’t even be funny either. I’m not at my best right now.
I found out yesterday that my grandpa has passed away. Not under any particularly tragic circumstance – he was in his nineties, most people don’t even make that. But still, it came as a shock. I’d just become so used to him being there that the idea that one day he might not be had never occurred to me. Not in any serious way, anyway. Stupid, I know. No one lives forever.
I’m not very good at emotional stuff – I got the call on the way to work. Somewhat stunned, and unable quite to process what I’d heard, I went in anyway. Didn’t tell anyone at work about it, beyond hinting that I’d had some bad news. Didn’t get anything done, either. Might as well have not gone in. I have no idea what my thought process was. Then I got home and had chocolate cake for dinner, because really, why the hell not?
Today I felt a little better, and was able to use my usual coping mechanism of making stupid jokes about everything (like the guy on the right). I also took a long walk down Oxford Street, in theory because I knew I had nothing in the line of funeral wear that wouldn’t hang off me like a sail. In practice, though, it had more to do with the need for a long walk.
Anyway, I have no idea what to do with this entry now. I didn’t really intend to write a self-indulgent emotional entry. Actually, I didn’t intend to write any entry at all, beyond a “we apologise for the inconvenience, normal service will be resumed as soon as possible”-type announcement.
Just assume that’s what I did, yeah?